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Seattle's mustached villain warns Spokane of super hero stunts

From the shadows of Seattle, a villain has risen to battle the false fame of Phoenix Jones, a masked vigilante. His name is Rex Velvet, a mustached businessman who handles a mustache like he handles his sparking alcohol - like a dandy.

There’s almost 300 miles separating Spokane and this man, but it should be known that he has had ties to the Lilac City in the past. Sources say he visited Eastern Washington last October to begin his Social Villain Alliance.

Velvet agreed to a phone interview on Thursday afternoon with KXLY where he disclosed that he is branching out to all corners of the state to begin his league of loyal alliances.

“Spokane should hope that they keep their wits about themselves. They may be one of the last spots that super heroes haven’t polluted the streets,” Velvet said over the phone.

We thought we heard the sound of his knuckles crunching around a Space Needle bottle opener during the phone call, but that’s not confirmed.

Top Five: Real Superheroes and Sci-Fi Bathrooms

Top Five: Real Superheroes and Sci-Fi Bathrooms

In case you were wondering, the Craigslist chair was still kind of a big deal into last week. The man beast of a chair does it all from making you comfy to storing your frozen meat according to the owner's wife.

Are we surprised? Possibly. But there were still other stories that snuck ahead of it last week including two completely stories involving one man. Local comic book shop owner stole the show by tracking down a bike thief until police arrived AND was busy painting the exterior of his store's bathroom to resemble a TARDIS from the BBC television series, Doctor Who.

Also, people love baby goats.

Here's a quick insight into our stats by showing our five most popular stories from last week:

1. Man follows bicycle thief for 30 minutes

2. Comic book shop replaces bathroom with TARDIS

3. Photo Gallery: Baby Goat Takes Spokane by Storm

A moment at the Office of the Police Ombudsman

A moment at the Office of the Police Ombudsman

We stopped by the Office of the Police Ombudsman Tuesday afternoon and learned some horrible news from the interns stationed at the front desk. One of the office fish passed away last week. We asked the interns if the fish had a name and they said it did not have one.

We’re thinking the lack of naming fish is a common theme at the Ombudsman’s office because Tim Burns said in a previous story that he did not have a name for his fish either, unless “Fish” counts.

Burns is not some shadowy figure with an unusual title. He’s just a guy with a fish bowl on his desk trying to make a better community.

He calls his office fish: “Fish”.

In other news, the Public Safety Committee Report is out in paper form for the time frame of March 16th through April 12th. Here's our analysis of the document innards

Spokanisms: George Clooney and Hipsters

Spokanisms: George Clooney and Hipsters

It’s amazing how a few flicks of your thumb can open the window into undiscovered parts of town. From bordered black and white shots or lo-fi grain, Instagram offers Spokane, or any city, a unique view that’s artistic, edgy but minimal.

Every now and then we find a few shots of Spokane that scream for more attention. There were two taken Monday morning and afternoon that highlight our city’s alternative culture that you don’t necessarily get to know through tourism promotion or the local news.

Spokane has unique vandalism - illegal, but unique. The above photo doesn't seem like the typical vandalism seen around Spokane with strange illegible symbols. This one has purpose. It says George Clooney is the man of the year.

It was photographed near the Maple Street Bridge Monday afternoon by David Blaine, chef for Latah Bistro, while on his way to Bongs Grocery in West Central. 

While passing through downtown Spokane, another Instagrammer, Yeshua Grise, found a slightly altered sign at Jimmy John’s that heeds a warning toward hipsters instead of the intended target of the message: hippies.

Top Five: Craigslist Chair and UFOs

Top Five: Craigslist Chair and UFOs

In case you were wondering, more people were interested in learning about the most hated recliner chair in Deer Park than Spokane Fire Department use of zombies as a way to prepare citizens for disasters.

Are we surprised? Maybe a little. That raises the standards for this week. What could we possibly write about that would beat the Craigslist story?

Here's a quick insight into our stats by showing our five most popular stories from last week:

1. Craigslist Post: "This stunning recliner is the bane of my existence."

2. UFO sighting in North Spokane Friday evening.

3. Photography business hit with snarky vandalism.

Q&A: Spokane Fire explains zombie preparedness

Q&A: Spokane Fire explains zombie preparedness

For a moment we thought Spokane was undergoing a scene from Dawn of the Dead. A news release sent by Spokane Fire suggested our worst fears with an 8:36 a.m. email titled, “Zombie Preparedness”.

Sleepy newsies checking their email for the first time on Tuesday might have thought Spokane Fire’s email was hacked. Councilman Jon Snyder emailed us to say he thought it was a belated April Fools prank.

It was real. Kind of. Spokane Fire was using the zombie technique made famous by the Center of Disease Control to teach safety measures and how to be prepared in the worst case scenario.

They compare real life dangers to zombie outbreaks and share how to stay safe in case of earthquakes or pandemics. Spokane Fire lead their safety list with water and food to stay safe, ending with first aid supplies noting if you’re bitten by a zombie, you’re a goner.

We spoke with assistant fire chief Brian Schaeffer about zombie preparedness and a few fire crews hanging around Fire Station 1 in downtown Spokane. They shared their thoughts on zombie survival and why they went with the zombie technique.